Production order: 21 | ITC code: 5109 | Airdate order: 24 | DVD order: 27
Those Responsible
Writer: Tony Williamson
Director: Paul Dickson
Where & When
Marling Dale, Cheshire, England: April 4th
The Inexplicable Mystery
A government chauffeur takes his VIP passenger, Byrom Blain, to a meeting at a military facility in the English countryside. On arriving, however, he gets a shock when he finds that Blain has been reduced to a skeleton!
The Mystery Explained
Blain and Sir Curtis are important committee members of Operation Groundshield: a plan for western nations to pool their intelligence-gathering operations. A group of enemy spies led by Kilvern kidnaps the attendees (replacing them with skeletons to confuse and delay investigators) and hypnotises them into believing they are at Marling Dale for the meeting, so that they will openly discuss their operations - and reveal the names of their agents.
Review
Department S's penultimate episode (by DVD order, anyway) takes us squarely back into Avengerland, and after the miserable attempt at heart-rending crime drama that was 'A Fish Out Of Water' is all the more refreshing for it. It's easy to imagine Steed and Mrs Peel trading quips as they follow a trail of skeletonised officials to a nest of spies.
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| Or maybe it was more of a job for Adam Adamant. |
'The Bones Of Byrom Blain' is light-hearted, even silly, but also undeniably entertaining. The fact that the story involves hypnosis as a major plot point should clue you in to how seriously it should be taken. (Hint: not very.) Seretse is reduced to a skeleton early on, so we don't even get a briefing scene, our heroic trio having to figure things out for themselves with the aid of plentiful one-liners as each lead they follow ends up as a pile of bones. "I wonder what Jason would look like without his moustache?" Annabelle eventually wonders as she fondles a skull - only to find out for herself soon afterwards.
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| He left his body to science. But his head went to showbiz! |
Most of the show's better episodes see each of the three leads investigating in their own particular way, and this follows the trend. Stewart takes the direct approach, barging in on top military officials and swapping places with a kidnap victim to be taken to the bad guys' hideout; Annabelle uses first her computer and then her wits to follow the trail of the spies; while Jason gets to enjoy a long lunch and several brandies before the solution presents itself - when he's kidnapped and replaced by a skeleton. In traditional style, it's not until our heroes are reunited and can assemble all the pieces they've found that the bad guys can be foiled. By, er, punching them. Well, it is an ITC series, after all.
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| An early role for Phil Collins. |
Just because it's all played in good humour doesn't mean that the story is above criticism, however. The chauffeur must have been staggeringly dense not to remember even after being questioned multiple times that he stopped for fuel, where the switch of breathing bureaucrat and denuded doppelganger took place, and having all the tests done on the first skeleton (even against dental records) exactly match Byrom Blain is a huge cheat. We later find out that Blain is alive and well, so did the villains set things up by stealing skeletons until they got ones of exactly the right size, and then fix their teeth? By the time Jason gets boned the police dismiss the whole thing as a prank, which is really the only possible response anyone could have had from the start.
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| Just imagine the stench of whisky and cigarettes soaked into that moustache... |
But never mind. With a teaser like that it would be hard for the episode to go too far wrong, and in the end it comes through as a fun and memorable outing for Interpol's finest. More shows like this, and maybe ITC wouldn't have split up the team...
Fancy Quotes
[Jason is shown a photo of Blain's skeleton]
Jason: Oh, alas, poor Yorick. Do we know him, Horatio?
[Jason suggests a rather obvious way to check if Blain's skeleton is really his]
Annabelle: Why didn't London think of that?
Stewart: Why didn't we?
Jason: I think I'll be just in time for lunch at a place called the Nag's Head.
Annabelle: You'll fit in beautifully.
Annabelle: Don't talk to any strange skeletons.
[The kidnapped Annabelle is about to clobber someone entering her room when she realises it's Jason]
Jason: You're looking very aggressive. What on earth are you doing here?
Annabelle: I was trying to find you!
Jason: Well, I wish you'd told me. I'd have sat down and waited, instead of spending the whole day getting out of my room.
Annabelle: How did you manage it?
Jason: If you can bear to wait, read the book.
Cheers!
• There's a mostly-drained glass of what looks suspiciously like whisky beside Jason's plate as he gets his starter at the Nag's Head.
• Jason enjoys a large glass of brandy following his lunch.
• Another large glass finds its way into Jason's hand when he meets with the hypnotised Seretse and Blain.
• He naturally takes full advantage of his captors' well-stocked cellar by not only asking for another brandy, but also keeping the decanter. And then draining it.
Fight!
Not exactly a fight, but Stewart does get a faceful of knockout gas from a woman's cigarette, a la The Spy Who Loved Me. KO!
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| Jason 10, Stewart 7. |
Stewart does a judo flip on one of Kilvern's goons.
Jason does a conjuring trick to confuse Kilvern and punch him out so that Stewart and Annabelle can join in and take down the spies. Unfortunately, Blain spoils the fun, thinking they're the bad guys and holding them at gunpoint!
This Looks Familiar
The corridor earns its military stripes by standing watch outside General Crawley's office.
