Production order: Unknown | ITC code: 5113 | Airdate order: 20 | DVD order: 23
Those Responsible
Writer: Philip Broadley
Director: Cyril Frankel
Where & When
Paris, France: March 8th
The Inexplicable Mystery
Aboard a jet, one of the passengers shoots another dead. He then holds the other flyers at gunpoint as he backs to an emergency hatch and jumps out - revealing that the aircraft is only a mockup in a warehouse.
The Mystery Explained
Gambler and crimelord Lucky le Beau is planning to hijack a plane carrying a shipment of gold and diamonds, the mockup aircraft being used to rehearse the operation. However, hitman Gerard has his eyes both on the shipment and the number one spot in le Beau's organisation, murdering his way to the top.
Review
We reach the penultimate Philip Broadley story for Department S - and it's still not the worst one he wrote, so that horror is yet to come!
 |
| They wished they hadn't agreed to watch Seretse's home movie of his trip to Bognor. |
While this may not be the most dreadful of Broadley's efforts, it's certainly the biggest waste of time. Events would have played out in exactly the same way whether Department S had been involved or not, all the criminals eventually killing each other long before the hijacking ever has a chance to take place. Our heroes therefore have literally nothing to do but fill their pointless minutes of screentime with busy-work. Jason has a date with an astronomer (who has the same name as a character from 'The Trojan Tanker', Veronica Bray, which is typical of the sloppy recycling Broadley does throughout this episode; see also naming a killer Gerhard/Gerard); Jason and Stewart theorise at great length but no result about the case; Stewart and Annabelle flirt; and Annabelle goes undercover in the most appalling frilly pink nylon neglige on an endless dinner date with le Beau. The story ends with all three of the team sitting in a caravan listening via bug as the bad guys shoot it out, none expressing more than weary indifference.
 |
| Annabelle's 'Sexy Elmo' halloween outfit left much to be desired. |
Small wonder, then, that the three leads are drinking constantly - it's the only way they have to relieve the boredom. It's actually an alcohol-fuelled episode all round, the bad guys also necking the stuff as if Prohibition is due to start at any moment. About the only character not seen imbibing is Seretse, and he was probably wishing he was back at the wine tasting in 'Death On Reflection'.
 |
| "Intriguing on-location settings!" - the official ITC Department S brochure. |
Frankly, I wished I'd had a drink in hand myself while watching this yawn-fest. It's essentially Philip Broadley's Greatest Hits, though the last word is more suited as an anagram. Set on the Mediterranean coast, check. Long scenes dealing with the personal lives of the criminals, check. We're supposed to find the main villain charming and somewhat sympathetic despite his actually being a creepy middle-aged lech with as much appeal as an unexpected curly hair on the soap, check. Annabelle is lusted over by said villain and his henchman, check. Department S are handed clues rather than working for them, check. Interminable dinner scene, check. The bad guys all die at the end to save writing a proper conclusion, check. Stewart and Annabelle flirt with each other, check.
 |
| "If you think these are cool, just wait till you see my collection of Warhammer 40,000 figures." |
That last is probably the most interesting part of the whole story. Unlike the pair's previous flirtations, which were always played humorously, this time there's a distinctly wistful, almost melancholy tone - as if they're both regretting what could have been but now never will, or what was but won't be again. Or it might just be that Joel Fabiani and Rosemary Nicols were aware that they wouldn't have many more scenes together and their paycheques were about to run out; this was one of the last few episodes filmed, after all.
 |
| "Well, here's to us." "Yep. Same again?" "Oh yes." |
There isn't really much more that can be said about 'Mysterious Man': it's fifty minutes of crushing dullness in which the main characters do nothing and accomplish less. After the downward trend of the past several episodes, that's sadly not really a surprise. Fortunately, the dog-end of the show's run isn't all bad - there's a marked uptick in quality with four decent-to-good stories rounding things out.
 |
| "Something you haven't told me, Jason?" |
Unfortunately, mixed in with them is the final Philip Broadley script. You have been warned!
 |
| "I really can't wait." |
Fancy Quotes
Jason: We're not exactly popping up with ideas, are we?
Stewart: Well, you're supposed to be the whiz-kid. I'm the leg-man, remember?
Jason: Fancy.
[Jason holds up a rather unusual corselette]
Jason: Seen one of these before?
Stewart: It's designed for smuggling.
Jason: Type of thing the girl-boys use.
Stewart: Boys?
Jason: Mm-hmm.
[The team watch some footage of Lucky Le Beau]
Jason: I wouldn't describe him as "beau". What's the feminine verdict?
Annabelle: He's not handsome, but there's a certain... animal magnetism.
Jason: Animal? What species, goat?
Seretse: Curb your flippancy, King.
Annabelle: He's invited me to dinner tonight.
Stewart: Bullseye.
Annabelle: I didn't accept.
Stewart: No?
Annabelle: No. A girl should be elusive, Stewart. You know that.
Stewart: [regretfully] Yes, I think I do.
Annabelle: [ditto] Yes, of course you do.
Stewart: Would you like a beer, Jason?
Jason: You must be joking.
Cheers!
• Jason has a drink with Stewart while waiting for Francoise at Bar Rapp. When she doesn't turn up on time, they debate how much longer to give her; Jason's answer is, of course, "another drink".
• Our man has another glass of whisky as he watches a film clip of Lucky le Beau. Considering that it's only about three seconds long you wouldn't think it worth the effort, but you're not Jason King.
• Arriving at Stewart's surveillance caravan, Jason reveals that he has come prepared for a night of boring stakeout work with a bottle of champagne. Does he open it? One guess.
• And he of course doesn't limit himself to a single glass.
• Or even just two.
• Or three.
